Please note: This is Part 1 of a a multi-part series discussing Compassion, Empathy & Emotional Health.
Compassion or Empathy Fatigue?
Have you ever had a day, a week, a month, where you felt tired, emotionally spent, drained, and not sure what feelings are yours and which ones aren’t? Are there things you feel emotionally exhausted just thinking about?
You may have been experiencing empathy fatigue!
Maybe you’ve heard of compassion fatigue. I think what is called compassion fatigue is usually referencing a kind of extreme empathy fatigue. Let’s break some lingo down…
Compassion – I’m going to call it caring through an open heart. Defined in Brene Brown’s research as seeing humanity in everyone. Reaching out with kindness, empathy & oneness.
Empathy – “Unlike perspective taking, empathy occurs when a person vicariously experiences another person’s emotion. The experience of empathy brings: warmth, compassion, and concern for the other, which in turn motivates altruistic and prosocial behavior. Empathy is key for emotional intelligence and social intelligence”.
As we can see, compassion and empathy are intimately related & subtly distinguished. The key point I’d like to explore with you is the vicarious feeling of others’ emotions. I think there’s a wide spectrum of empathy, perhaps we will explore that another time!
For now, let’s explore the idea that sometimes, feeling empathetically without healthy boundaries and clear priorities can be self-sabotaging. Pausing to reflect on and centering emotionally can help course correct this, while still being open-hearted and compassionate.
If you have ever felt…
… perpetually drained
…like your wheels spinning and you feel run dry
… weighed down, stuck, or in a whirlwind with everything that’s going on with everybody else
…leaky emotions flailing your energy away…like hoses having holes and knotted with kinks, instead of hooked up to your most important creations, flowing smoothly.
You were probably feeling emotionally over extended & empathetically fatigued. If you’re feeling that way now, hugs & love to you!
Pause for a Public Service Announcement:
“Please put on your own oxygen mask first before assisting others”
Some Love From Brene Brown
Brene Brown breaks this down further in some of her newer research as she discussed with Russell Brand.
In this research, they were exploring the question are people doing the best they can? Brene’s initial response was approximately hell no, and if that’s your best, you suck and your best isn’t best enough for me. (Love Brene, she’s brilliant and hilarious!)
As the research progressed both formally and informally, Brene changed her perspective (I will share this clip of the interview, it’s definitely worth watching!).
What they found is that the most compassionate people are the most boundaried people.
Say what!?!
That’s right, the most compassionate people are very clear on what is ok, and what’s not ok. They are compassionate because they do not submit themselves to the abuse of other people.
From these findings, Brene created the BIG acronym. “What boundaries need to be in place for me to be in my integrity and be generous towards you?
Powerful stuff!
I’ll leave this part in the series here for you to ponder. And, I’ll add, what 3 self-care activities will help you maintain those boundaries? Please feel free to share below!
Healthy self-care habits help us have healthy boundaries naturally, by helping us discern our natural human limits and maintain our relationships from a healthy foundation. All the best to you in your journey of self-discovery!
Stay tuned for more in the series on Compassion, Empathy & Emotional Health. If you’d like to learn more, please sign up for my email list on my Home page, or send me a message on my Contact Page.
Thank you for visiting, reading & please come back anytime!