“You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf” – Jon Kabat-Zinn.
Self-compassion is the fertilizer of self-awareness.
How do you cultivate self-compassion?
Creating healthy boundaries with people, places, and situations has allowed me to see clearly where I need to set healthy boundaries with myself. Sometimes we just need space to unpack, to open up, expand, feel and heal. It’s important to be able to discern what you’re feelings are relative to those around you, and the collective consciousness.
Here are a few ways to help you dive in to your feelings and discover more self-compassion:
1. Instead of judging feelings, getting curious and asking what the emotion is pointing to.
i.e. this anger – why is it there? What is it telling me? Shining a light in always brings relief. If I slow down and listen I find there is always far more under the surface. We are incredibly intelligent beings, and our feelings are rich with insight.
By giving yourself the grace to follow your feelings to where they lead you, you may discover some deeper truths about yourself and your behavior that will expand your experience of self-compassion.
2. Kristin Neff
“Self-compassion is an amazing source of strength and emotional resilience….We know that people who are more self-compassionate have much more resilience to get through difficult times. In research she found it doesn’t matter so much what happens to you as it does how you relate to yourself when times are difficult. Are you an inner ally or an inner enemy?
Most people are inner enemies, that voice in their head constantly saying ‘You’re not good enough, you screwed up, I hate you’ all of these voices in our head. We are constantly harming ourselves. What happens when you have a voice that supports you? Y’know hey it’s ok I’m here for you, I love you anyway, I’ll support you, what do you need right now? It’s an incredible source of strength and resilience and that’s what the research shows”. Self-compassion also promotes compassion beyond oneself.
3. Mama & Marie Forleo – Swamping
If you’ve got a feeling that just need to move or has been nagging at you. Feel free to give swamping a go, it’s a simple way to move it out. No matter what the feeling is, it’s got to come up to come out. Swamping involves choosing a song and a feeling and let yourself feel into it, dance it out, move it, shake it, swamp it until the song is over. Permission to be human includes the permission to feel your feelings. Allow yourself to swamp it out, t can be fun and help move even heavy, lethargic and weighty emotions,.
“One of the most difficult things is not to change society- but to change yourself.” – Nelson Mandela
I hope this helps you feel more at ease during this soul-washing period. Most importantly, keep the energy flowing in your life, however you do that best. Do what soothes your soul. If you feel stuck, feel free to reach out and I can help you move along in your healing journey.
Note: This article is third in Cultivating Emotional Health Series
Quote Source: “The Power of Self-Compassion. With Dr. Kristin Neff. Uplift TV